| What. The....? |
[Nov. 17th, 2009|02:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fireflies - Owl City | ] |
Read Identical, by Ellen Hopkins. It will blow your freaking mind, I swear. That book is RIDICULOUS. |
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| Forgive my sexist rant, but... |
[Aug. 19th, 2009|12:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Bitter | ] |
| [ | music |
| | A Clean Shot - The Myriad | ] |
It's beyond deserved. As a sex, you are conniving, scheming, horrible people. You will do ANYthing to get what you want. Regardless of the consequences or how little the thing you want is. From tiny little things like a ride home, to a full blown almost-relationship that destroys everything this boy knows.
I've trusted EVERYSINGLEONEOFYOUSTUPIDGIRLS. And so far, only about two of the fifteen or so I've gotten close to in any way haven't broken me down in some way or another. Even my own mother and family have.. I'm waiting for it though, if I give you the chance to, I'm quite sure you will. It's just the way things work, I'm an easy target, I know. Why should I ever let another one of YOU close? I don't even want to see another female again, let alone trust/love/lust/befriend/letyoufuckmylifeagain any of you.
You don't deserve it. I'm far better than any of you deserve. It's not me being egotistical, it's just the truth. You're beneath me. You've broken my trust, not just for the feminine persuasion, but for the human race as a whole. I don't trust David anymore. I'd love to, but I honest to God can't make myself. I had a hard enough time before and now, well fuck, now you've ruined it.
Don't worry too much little cardinal, you were just the last straw, it's not entirely your fault. But you certainly added a shit ton of weight to the pile of bullshit I've been holding on to for so long. (This isn't a rant about you though, I swear, you know me better than that.)
You've all been nothing but trouble since my first days of school. Friends, family, and fucks. All women are trouble. I'd love it to be otherwise, as I am not in the slightest attracted to men. So I'm kinda pigeonholed into being... A bitter man.
I'm not really that angry at all. Just justifiably, understandably, wonderfully bitter.
Prove to me you're not like this, and maybe one day I'll change my mind. But until then, all of you, I can't even describe how I feel about you. It's a horrid thought process in general. No matter how nice, sweet, kind you are, I cannot mentally/physically force myself to not flinch at the thought of being "close" with a single one of you. Not now, not yet.
Prove me wrong.
I dare you, I'd enjoy it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2009|06:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Oslo in the Summertime - Of Montreal | ] |
I don't even know! Yesterday was so awesomely weird.. Like, possibly one of the best days ever, and it was just kinda... Chill. I didn't do a whole lot or do anything spectacular in the slightest, but I haven't had a GOOD day like that in a looooonngggg time. I'm so glad it happened though. Woot for good news for once!
p.s. I think things may stay good =D at least for a while |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 16th, 2007|03:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Think I'm Paranoid - Garbage | ] |
I hate girls... they're too confusing. like 9000% of the time. you never know what they're thinking about... or planning and conniving. well, that's what it feels like at least. schemers... =P
bah.. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|05:10 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Like Waves - Meriwether | ] |
I can't get this song out of my head... it's always playing... hah... at least it's a good song...
Like Waves - Meriwether (unreleased album)
gahh... check it out. |
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| so utterly confused. |
[Nov. 19th, 2007|04:24 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | underground | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
| [ | music |
| | random noises | ] |
well, the title seems to say it all. and this whole falling asleep early thing isn't seeming to work well either... I always wake up at like four in the morning or something like that... |
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| bahh!!! |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|04:30 am] |
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I'm so utterly retarded..... |
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| Kay then.. |
[Nov. 12th, 2007|02:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Random stuff | ] |
so this is really weird... instead of going to sleep about now.. I'm waking up. cause, uh, I kinda went to bed at 6pm. and wow, today was an eye opener. I don't even really know how or why or what is going on, but it's kinda cool. I think?
yeah I don't really know anymore, I'm just gonna ride the waves and hope for the best.
so, I'm off to start my day. peace. |
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| Insomniaaaaaaa |
[Oct. 27th, 2007|05:12 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Like Waves - Meriwether | ] |
So, it's 5:18... am. and I'm awake. cool, I know. anyways, I came here to write something and now it's just digressing into random babbling like usual. |
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| sleep |
[Apr. 18th, 2007|11:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Falling by the Wayside - People in Planes | ] |
I am tired like death. I have not slept well in days, I dislike that. anyways, yeah, goodnight, I should probably be in bed right now, ah well. |
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| Follow the Crowd |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|10:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Enjoy the Silence - Depeche Mode | ] |
INSTRUCTIONS: Write 10 statements, intended for 10 different people; good/bad things that you've always wanted to say to them. Don't tell who the statement belongs to.
1. Well, you've certainly changed A LOT in the past year.. Sometimes that's good and others... Not so much... You need to get your life in gear and DO SOMETHING.. Granted by tomorrow, you actually will have, but we'll also see just how much you do. Though, whatever happens, I am quite saddened that you can't really live at my house anymore like you used to... =P =/
2. Special sped, you're pretty sweet, I have to say. We've kinda been through a lot it feels like and we've only known each other for what, a year and a half or so? Yeah, somehow or another, you became one of my bestestest friends =P (granted I'm not complaining, but that's still how it happened haha..) And we still have some ups and downs, but after all is said and done, come out better than before. Mhm. I'm extremely glad I met you. It pretty much makes my day. (Insert mushy stuff here hahaha...)
3. What the heck yo??? So you call me up randomly one day and I barely know you. We hang out, we laugh, good times, or so I thought. I do one (semi, not even really semi) dumb thing... And POOF!!! You're gone. Leaving me and others with just the occasional laugh, glance, or hello. What's up with that? Is that what being a friend is to you? Yeah, I don't really know. Whatever.
4. You, my friend, are spaztastic. Haha, we've also had a great many good times. We may possibly be the most odd combination for friends I have ever seen. You're insane, I'm not.. You're wacked in the head, I'm not... I'm awesome... Haha, just kidding, but you get what I mean. =P Anyways, I've been kinda off in my own world lately, so yeah.. sorry... =/ maybe it'll change soon.
5. You!! Yeah, I know it seems like I'm never around, but uh, very little effort is being made to change that.. I know I could change that too, but come on, it's like I'm always telling people, there's this little thing called personal responsibility... Anyways, you're still a good friend though, you have been pretty much all the time. yay for you! =D
6. Douche bag.. I wanna beat your face in with a steel pole sometimes... You went and decided you had some divine right to go ahead and make major changes in MY life when not even a year before, one super huge change had already been made... Are you dumb?? Do you think I'm gonna help you contribute to others unhappiness? I have a heart. You sir, however, do not. At least not one that shows itself all too well.. Maybe one day you'll realize and learn from your mistakes..
7. Dude, what's the deal? I do you a favor, and you throw it to the ground like it's nothing. Not only do you ruin your integrity, but mine as well. Thanks a bunch "buddy" Ah well, I suppose it's my own fault for trusting you could ya know, be not lazy. Other than that, I have no qualms with you. But sadly, nothing good to say either.
8. (Same stuff as above, but with a different person)
9. Dudette!!! You're a cool one. Don't let life get you down, okay? Smile and be happy no matter what. Enjoy that macaroni! =D Heh.. You don't need "stuff" of some sort *cough* (You know what I mean) to make you be in a good mood. I've seen you quite normal and extremely happy anyways. You should always be that way. Mhm.
10. So, you definitely turned out to be a cool person. No denying that one. You've been nice to me for basically no other reason than just to be nice. That's pretty cool of you. Yup, oh, and thanks for helping me fish for cows.. =P |
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| amazing song |
[Dec. 8th, 2006|11:24 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy, in a goodish way | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sowing Season - Brand New | ] |
yeah, so I normally don't do this but um... it's an exception.. hah
tis a good song my friends.
Was losing all my friends
Was losing them to drinking and to driving
Was losing all my friends and I got them back
I am on the mend
At least now I can say I'm trying
And I hope you will forget the things I still lack
Is it in you now?
To bare to hear the truths that you were spoken
Twisted up by knaves
In a trap for fools
Is it in you now?
To watch the things you gave your life to broken
You stoop and build them up with worn out tools
Nothing gets so bad
A whisper from your father couldn't fix it
Your whispers like a bridge, he's a river span
Take all that you have
and turn it into something you were missing
Somebody threw that brick
And shattered all your plans
Time to get the seeds and put them in the cold ground
It takes a while to grow anything
Before its coming to the end yeah
Before you put my body in the cold ground, take some time to warm it with your hands
Before it's coming to an end, yeah
It's coming to an end
Do you miss the blend
Of colours she left in your black and white field
Do you feel condemned just being there?
I am not your friend
I am just a man who knows how it feels
I am not your friend
I am not your lover
I am not your family
indeed. |
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| owned... |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|10:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thankful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Sowing Season - Brand New | ] |
story's finally started... and the first draft of the intro is done... it's five pages long... good start considering it's for a class. but I'll keep it going long after this class.. mhm, it'll be a novel one day.. just you wait. it'll own all. for sure, no doubts. I will continuously brag of its awesomeness til I die. haha...
~Fin.. |
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| hmm... |
[Nov. 13th, 2006|09:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | From December - Project 86 | ] |
why is there a creepy advertisment about a guy wanting me to join his "fans off toast" community.....???
weird....
anyways, I ahd something to write but I forgot it.
more later I suppose.
~Fin.. |
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| In need of a brain? |
[Nov. 7th, 2006|09:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  okay | ] |
| [ | music |
| | You're a God - Vertical Horizon | ] |
I'm pretty sure you've got one. It might be useful to use it. |
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| chyeah |
[Nov. 4th, 2006|10:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic, hah hampster in love | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Timothy - Dada | ] |
So, today was good, by good I mean awesome, by awesome I mean amazing.
The last few months have been really good for me. I've actually been genuinely happy most of the time. Not just the faked smile crap and stuff like that. I actually enjoy being around. That has not happened for years.
I like it to say the least. =P
And it's for many many reasons too. Not just like, one thing here and there and stuff like that. But I dunno. Yeah, there's just a lot of stuff that makes me happy. Haha..
Now I'm gonna go be happy on the other side of the basement and read or play video games. I = NERD. F'sho.
~Fin.. |
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| mrawr |
[Oct. 23rd, 2006|10:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bury Your Head - Saosin | ] |
I had something I wanted to put in here. But I forgot what they were. Oh yeah, duh.. I think I was gonna ask for motivation to do my school work. =P Hahah, yes, I know it's my responsibility, but hey, I figure, why not ask for a bit of help? It couldn't hurt I suppose..
Anyways, I'm tired like usual. In fact, don't talk to me online unless it's actually important after 10:30 anymore. Hahah, another responsibility thing, but oh well. =P
G'night.
~Fin |
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| hmm... |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|10:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bang - Eve 6 | ] |
yeah, so... today was interesting.. funeral ness..
I had no idea what was going on or what I was supposed to do. it was very awkward. but at least some certain people decided to be awesome today. =P you know who you are, so don't be modest. hahahaha...
anyways, I feel better this week than last week. plus, I might start running soon. with le Casey and possibly Rachachel.
that should be fun I think. mhm.
yepp... that's pretty much it I think. yeah
oh! silly Nicole.. your myspace song got me re-hooked on Eve 6.. haha...
~Fin.. |
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| hmm.. |
[Oct. 22nd, 2006|12:25 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Closure - Chevelle | ] |
yes, yes. indeed, quite. it's is certainly night and time for Tim to go to bed. yay God. boo Lucifer.
twas random. but I dunno, it seems to be the way things work, ya know? (duh =P)
anyways, good stuff, bad stuff, absolutely horrible stuff, but hey, stuff gets better.
yeah, some really bad stuff happened this week, and, quite frankly, I'm not worried about it. I don't need to worry. I've done that enough for the rest of my life. if any of those who read this see me worrying, you must smack me in the face. I command it. =P (not the eyes or the noes though please.. haha..)
mhm, g'night
~Fin.. |
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| sleep? naww... |
[Oct. 20th, 2006|04:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Self Destruct - Dead Poetic | ] |
so yeah, I don't really have any urge to sleep. but I wont be able to stay up another 4.5 hours. I also don't think that I'd wake up if I went to sleep now. at least, not on time. yeah.
I've been thinking that lately, I've had a bad depression problem. and now, I have no sorrow/sadness whatsoever. I have nothing to be sad or mad about. my life is good. I have all the people I believe that I need in my life right now. but I'm changing. I will say no. I will not let anyone walk on me. if you bug me, I tell you to stop. if you don't listen, I'm done with you. you don't deserve my respect or time if you don't respect me. you're all warned.
yeah. I'm done dealing with retards and retarded things. I've actually cared about what people think of me for far too long. from now on, only people who take me for what I am and don't take advantage of the few things I have (i.e. car, money, etc.)are worth knowing. (if I offer, it's not taking advantage, but you are allowed to say no.. =P)
anyways, it's time to get off the comp. g'night all.
~Fin.. |
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